So grades were posted on the Wake Forest website a week or two ago. This has generally been something I've been okay with. I've never really had a reason to worry about a grade in any particular class because I've been blessed with a mind that, so far, has been able to handle most classes I've taken and dedication that's enabled me to continue when my intelligence fails. However, I feel that this sense of security I had built up during high school and the first semester at Wake produced some ill effects. The biggest of these is undoubtedly the misleading feeling that I could not and would not fail. I'm sure if you talk to me you might not be aware that I have this problem. Heck, I wasn't aware of it 90% of the time! But, nevertheless, my feelings of "invincibility" (maybe I shouldn't use that severe of a term, but I think you get what I mean) have been shattered and I thank God for it!!!
This past semester I've struggled with my hardest class yet, organic chemistry. I realized throughout my experiences in this class that God was constantly challenging me to rise above my old expectations perform on the level I thought capable of and reach the goal which I believed He had set for me of excelling in the class. I was faced with a fair amount of disappointment, however, as I consistently failed in living up to my own expectations for my success in the class and, so I thought, God's expectations for my future in medicine. It seemed like every time I tried, I failed. Not only this, but I was surprised to find that every time I tried harder, the work got that much more demanding and I failed even more. Bummer, right?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! It was not until I had finished the final exam and waited two and a half long weeks for my grades to arrive (I didn't fail, but I did considerably worse than I had thought) that I was struck with a glorious revelation about what had really been happening in my life throughout the second semester. God was breaking me down; chipping away at the secure, confident shell that I'd built up as a means to show me that, no matter what, I'm an imperfect human being in every sense. God was taking a part of my life that I'd felt very sure of my ability to succeed in and making it difficult just to break me into a state of submission. In that moment of revelation I realized that it really is when we are in our weakest and most vulnerable states that we are most receptive to God's grace. I knew then and there that I couldn't make it without Him... whether the task at hand was spiritual, physical, or even intellectual. God was showing me that my gifts were only because of Him and that I ought to be prayerfully seeking His guidance in using them.
Wholly broken,
Joe
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Only two weeks into summer...
... and I'm already rather tired of the slow lifestyle of Southwest Virginia. Even though this place is my home, I feel more at home on the beautiful campus of Wake Forest. This is not to say that I am not enjoying myself, for I have missed my family tremendously and words cannot describe how great it is to be back with them. It's just strange to have such an extreme change in scenery. I mean, honestly people, when have you known Joe (keeping in mind his unusually slow reading skills) to have already read three substantial works of literature (and two Harry Potter books) in less than a month! This brief lament, however, is not my primary purpose in writing this particular post.
Having recently attended the Commencement and Baccalaureate ceremonies for the WFU class of 2008, I have been pondering a conversation I had rather early on the morning of graduation with one of my very dear senior friends. After discussing the interesting happenings of the Baptist Student Union and Wesley senior banquets and expressing both of our feelings of uncertainty about the future, the conversation took a turn down the spiritual road, as many conversations tend to do at 1:00 in the morning.
My friend, a proponent of the Episcopalian faith and a devout scholar of church music, and I have always enjoyed debating theology as we have very different opinions on a number of issues. That night we managed to work our way into previously uncharted territory: the division among denominations over the importance of grace vs. doctrine. It really was interesting to consider the importance of both of these components in the life of a Christian. Our discussion has led me to a greater respect for the principles of church doctrine found in creed, in ritual and in song. Yet I am still sold beyond the shadow of a doubt that no Christian life can ever last unless it is firmly rooted in salvation through grace (in case you didn't catch that from my previous post!). However, I have come to one major conclusion that I wish to share with the 5 or 6 people who might just read this...
The debate between theologically liberal and conservative denominations within the church over the importance of doctrine and ritual within worship is held as much too great of a problem. It appears to me that there is no need to question whether one of these principles (salvation or doctrine) is any more important than the other. I believe that the two concepts are mutually dependent; one cannot be fully appreciated without the other. All the songs, all the signs of the cross, all the Holy Communions, baptisms and confirmations are perfectly meaningless without some real evidence of grace to make them worthwhile and representative of some deeper meaning and sanctification. However, doctrine cannot be ignored, lest our relationships with Christ be reduced to solely emotional whims and expectations for Christ to meet us where we are without us moving (through conforming our lives and thoughts to His will) closer to Him. There is much to be gained through the ages worth of rituals passed down from the Holy Catholic Church and of doctrine and hymns developed through years of reformation. However, it all becomes dim and worldly without Christ's inspiration and fulfillment.
Having recently attended the Commencement and Baccalaureate ceremonies for the WFU class of 2008, I have been pondering a conversation I had rather early on the morning of graduation with one of my very dear senior friends. After discussing the interesting happenings of the Baptist Student Union and Wesley senior banquets and expressing both of our feelings of uncertainty about the future, the conversation took a turn down the spiritual road, as many conversations tend to do at 1:00 in the morning.
My friend, a proponent of the Episcopalian faith and a devout scholar of church music, and I have always enjoyed debating theology as we have very different opinions on a number of issues. That night we managed to work our way into previously uncharted territory: the division among denominations over the importance of grace vs. doctrine. It really was interesting to consider the importance of both of these components in the life of a Christian. Our discussion has led me to a greater respect for the principles of church doctrine found in creed, in ritual and in song. Yet I am still sold beyond the shadow of a doubt that no Christian life can ever last unless it is firmly rooted in salvation through grace (in case you didn't catch that from my previous post!). However, I have come to one major conclusion that I wish to share with the 5 or 6 people who might just read this...
The debate between theologically liberal and conservative denominations within the church over the importance of doctrine and ritual within worship is held as much too great of a problem. It appears to me that there is no need to question whether one of these principles (salvation or doctrine) is any more important than the other. I believe that the two concepts are mutually dependent; one cannot be fully appreciated without the other. All the songs, all the signs of the cross, all the Holy Communions, baptisms and confirmations are perfectly meaningless without some real evidence of grace to make them worthwhile and representative of some deeper meaning and sanctification. However, doctrine cannot be ignored, lest our relationships with Christ be reduced to solely emotional whims and expectations for Christ to meet us where we are without us moving (through conforming our lives and thoughts to His will) closer to Him. There is much to be gained through the ages worth of rituals passed down from the Holy Catholic Church and of doctrine and hymns developed through years of reformation. However, it all becomes dim and worldly without Christ's inspiration and fulfillment.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Blogging... Why?
I sit in front of my computer screen.
I think...
I think...
I think...
Why am I doing this? Why am I writing? There has to be some deeper reason than "because three of my closest friends did so and won't stop nagging until I start one for myself". I don't think I'm writing to share my feelings with the world. That seems far too trivial and 99.999999999% of the world probably won't ever know this blog exists. I'm not writing to prove anything about myself. There are much better ways and I'm not convinced that I need to be proven (I'll probably delve into this last statement later... we'll see). I must be writing to convey a message. This message is greater than words, however, and will probably take my entire life to even get across just a tiny shred of its worth and relevance.
This message is GRACE!!! (generally three exclamation points means "IMPORTANT", just so you'll know)
Yes, grace. God's never ending grace which He has bestowed upon all of humanity through the sacrifice of His son Jesus. This brings me to the relevance of the title of my blog, which may have confused a reader or two, as Barabbas is certainly not as familiar a Biblical entity as Moses, Peter, or Paul. Barabbas was important nonetheless and is perhaps one of the most relatable characters I've found in all of the Bible. Barabbas was a thief, a criminal held prisoner by the Roman Empire, a sinful man. When Pilate had found no fault with Christ, he offered to free one prisoner in hopes that the people might choose to release Jesus, a man innocent beyond all doubt. The crowd would not have this, however, and instead chose to release Barabbas instead.
THIS IS GRACE. The idea that we were freed by Christ's sacrifice. We wretched, sinful, unworthy people were reestablished as worthy heirs of God's kingdom through the death and resurrection of the one perfect being that has ever walked the earth.
This is why I write. There can be no greater message to convey than our salvation and our chance to live eternally. No wealth of man can compare. No idea can rival in importance. The grace given through Christ is everything.
Well, when I say "everything" I think you understand what I mean. But to make sure, I mean that grace must essentially be understood and accepted first before anything else can truly be of value. My blogging venture will examine some important, challenging questions I've had about theology, philosophy, and just life in general, but also whatever random thoughts come to mind that I find interesting and worth writing. Expect poetry at times, as sappy as it sounds. Also expect seemingly incoherent rants (it happens). But always remember, that whatever I say and whatever you think about what I say, it is nowhere near as important as God's grace and cannot truly be appreciated without being viewed in its light.
I pray that God's blessings may be upon this blog and all who read it.
Agape,
Joe
I think...
I think...
I think...
Why am I doing this? Why am I writing? There has to be some deeper reason than "because three of my closest friends did so and won't stop nagging until I start one for myself". I don't think I'm writing to share my feelings with the world. That seems far too trivial and 99.999999999% of the world probably won't ever know this blog exists. I'm not writing to prove anything about myself. There are much better ways and I'm not convinced that I need to be proven (I'll probably delve into this last statement later... we'll see). I must be writing to convey a message. This message is greater than words, however, and will probably take my entire life to even get across just a tiny shred of its worth and relevance.
This message is GRACE!!! (generally three exclamation points means "IMPORTANT", just so you'll know)
Yes, grace. God's never ending grace which He has bestowed upon all of humanity through the sacrifice of His son Jesus. This brings me to the relevance of the title of my blog, which may have confused a reader or two, as Barabbas is certainly not as familiar a Biblical entity as Moses, Peter, or Paul. Barabbas was important nonetheless and is perhaps one of the most relatable characters I've found in all of the Bible. Barabbas was a thief, a criminal held prisoner by the Roman Empire, a sinful man. When Pilate had found no fault with Christ, he offered to free one prisoner in hopes that the people might choose to release Jesus, a man innocent beyond all doubt. The crowd would not have this, however, and instead chose to release Barabbas instead.
THIS IS GRACE. The idea that we were freed by Christ's sacrifice. We wretched, sinful, unworthy people were reestablished as worthy heirs of God's kingdom through the death and resurrection of the one perfect being that has ever walked the earth.
This is why I write. There can be no greater message to convey than our salvation and our chance to live eternally. No wealth of man can compare. No idea can rival in importance. The grace given through Christ is everything.
Well, when I say "everything" I think you understand what I mean. But to make sure, I mean that grace must essentially be understood and accepted first before anything else can truly be of value. My blogging venture will examine some important, challenging questions I've had about theology, philosophy, and just life in general, but also whatever random thoughts come to mind that I find interesting and worth writing. Expect poetry at times, as sappy as it sounds. Also expect seemingly incoherent rants (it happens). But always remember, that whatever I say and whatever you think about what I say, it is nowhere near as important as God's grace and cannot truly be appreciated without being viewed in its light.
I pray that God's blessings may be upon this blog and all who read it.
Agape,
Joe
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